I see how much you care about the people you lead. How it breaks your heart to see the things they are going through. So many things that are happening to them. You see their financial struggles, their health struggles. You see the effects of the broken relationships in their lives. You see the effects of decisions being made by them or for them. You see the pain in their eyes you know the hearts that are breaking. You see their suffering. And it’s weighing on you.
In some places you know you have the answers for them if only they would be willing to listen or make the change. So it breaks your heart to see the unnecessary suffering they are going through. Then there are the things that are out side of anyone’s control that you struggle to understand. The why’s and the how’s.
Why is this happening to them.
How can this be happening to them.
I see that weight you carry for them. I see how much you care. I see how heavy your heart is for them. They are in pain and you see them suffer. Then you are in pain and beginning to think it shouldn’t be this way. You begin to suffer with them.
Dear one, let me tell you how I know this is exactly the way things are supposed to be for them. Are you ready for the answer? Read closely….
I know this is exactly the way things are supposed to be for them, because this is the way they are. If it wasn’t supposed to be this way, then it wouldn’t be. This is part of their human experience.
When you argue with what is by thinking it shouldn’t be this way or it doesn’t have to be this way.
You never win the argument.
Instead you will be using up so much precious and valuable energy.
My dear friend, you can still hold their stories and love them and care for them and yet not add more suffering to the situation. Not add it on top of their pain and their suffering. Not add the weight of their story to the weight of your own.
How you ask? By making peace with what is.
Then, you can ask one of my favorite questions.
How do I want to show up in this?
What does the person you want to be in these situations look like?
Chances are you want to be a person of integrity.
Someone who is intentional and thoughtful with their words.
Someone they can turn to.
Someone that can offer solutions when/if they ask for help.
Someone who prays with or for them.
You cannot be this person very well or for very long when you are suffering along side of them by thinking it shouldn’t be this way. Instead you can choose to believe that there is purpose in the pain. That it is all working together for their good. You can come along side of them. You can have compassion for them. You can love on them. You can pray for them. You can guide them. You can do all these things and not suffer with them.
Yea, I see how much you care about the people in your life and I know they are better because of it.
Love you madly.
Leslie
P.S. When you learn this skill you will protect your heart and mind. You'll increase your energy and have so much more clarity. This is what self-care looks like. If you want to learn how to do it in real life. Email me now at leslie.canup@gmail.com. I can teach you.
