Thinking of you today.
I know right now it’s hard.
Quite possibly the hardest thing you have ever been through.
I know you struggle because you don’t want word to get out around what’s been going on in your marriage, with your kids, with your bank account.
You feel like you are screaming out loud in your head and all that’s coming out is silence. You can’t turn to anyone. Because how could any body possibly understand. They all look to you when things are upside down. You are always the one that keeps everyone else together. But how right now? Your wondering how is it you can help everyone else manage their troubles, but yet here you are struggling to manage your own. Thinking no one will understand because to everyone else your life is perfect. It’s what they wished theirs would be. They don’t understand the pressures you have to keep it all together. They don’t understand the sacrifices you have had to make to be there for everyone. Now, those sacrifices have come back to haunt you. They are reminding you of all the should haves, the would haves, the could haves and the didn’ts. Guilt, shame and regret are the new normal for you. It washes over you daily. No matter where you are there is just no escape. You seek comfort in all your favorite places that used to bring you peace. But even there shame finds you.
Dear one, I know this is hard. It all feels flipped upside down right now for you. I’m here to tell you, it’s going to be ok. This will one day become a distant memory. In the mean time I want to offer to you to choose your thoughts wisely. They are what will determine how you carry through. Take captive every thought. And run it through these questions.
It’s it Right?
(completely factual. Not up for interpretation. Completely neutral)
Is it True?
Is it Pure?
I know you have so much pain in your heart right now. But there is no need to add suffering. They way we add suffering is by the story we tell ourselves about what is happening. We use the story to tell us how we should punish others or ourselves for all the wrong that’s be done.
So maybe poor choices were made. Maybe it was over night, maybe it was a long time coming. But know this my friend. It doesn’t mean you or anyone else is a bad person. Chances are it was a choice of someone who was scared or lonely. I’d like to offer you to consider it this way. When you do, you will move into compassion and love. That will change everything.
You have some decisions ahead of you, you can make them out of guilt and shame and punishment or you can make them out of love and compassion. And love my friend, is always an option. It’s always the best option.
This thing right now, it doesn’t mean you are bad or you are good. It means you are….human.
Yea, I know this is hard right now. And that’s ok.
You my friend, can do hard things.
Love you madly.
Leslie
P.S. If you need someone to come along side of you through this hard thing. Let’s chat. Email me at leslie.canup@gmail.com
