Good-Bye Dream

I see the life you dreamed of.  You had in your mind this idea of what your life is supposed to be like. What your marriage was supposed to be like. What your kids lives were supposed to be like. It includes you being happy all the time. Them being happy all the time.  You’ve created a lovely and beautiful fantasy of how it should be, and yet. It’s not. Here’s what you may not know about this, you may not realize that holding onto that fantasy is what’s making everything so difficult and challenging now.

I’ve done this. In fact my coach just recently showed me how I was doing this for my daughter with her high-school experience. And after talking with her I realized I've done this will all my kids. I had this beautiful life planned out for them, and it did not include moving so many times or so many different schools. It did not include the struggle of trying to find their place over and over again, many times being unsuccessful. 

Something my coach pointed out to me was I‘ve been holding onto that dream for them way to tight. I had done the work of letting go of all things this meant for me to have moved so much. But I was still holding onto it for my kids. It’s all with good intentions and out of so much love for them. Who doesn’t want good things for the people we love? But holding on to those dreams for them was causing me to miss all the goodness that is right here in front of us. Which was affecting them as well.

And so the process of letting go begins. 

With letting go, there is grief. 

There is mourning.  

I’ve experienced more than my fair share of loss (you can read a little bit about that on my get to know me page here.) Something I have learned, is grieving is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to say goodbye. It gives us permission to accept that our relationship with that person, that place, that thing, even that dream is now complete. It opens the door for us to walk into the beauty of what is now. 

I’ve also learned how to mourn intentionally and on purpose. Instead of being re-active to grief I am pro-active. I can use it to better myself. 
So can you.  

So yea, I see the life you dreamed of for yourself and for others that didn’t quite turn out to be. It’s ok to say good-bye to it. 

Not sure where to start? Do this one simple thing. Write down 5 things that you’re grateful for that you have right now. Things, people, experiences you wouldn’t have if that dream had been your reality. 
Tell that dream thank you for these things. 

Love you madly.

Leslie

P.S. If you knew this is your perfect journey then... you can relax. Need a little help with your good-bye? Email me at leslie.canup@gmail.com